FML

In a stroke of sheer bad luck, Kansas broke a tooth yesterday afternoon.

It's what is known as a slab fracture, only in her case, that part of the pic where the sheared off slab of tooth is being held up by forceps? It isn't there. She swallowed it. I watched her do it, I just wasn't thinking about possibly broken teeth at the time. The pulp is exposed, a nice, round, pink dot. And there was bleeding. But when she chews her Nylabone, there's always a little bleeding, if the rough edges cut her gums.

I've been giving her Nylabones all her life, with no trouble, and I don't plan to discontinue that. Even now, she's still trying to chew, though she is aware of the tender place and has to keep shifting her Nylabones and elk antlers to the other side of her mouth. She usually favors chewing on her right side, but now she can't. The truth is, she hasn't done much chewing at all for the past 4-5 months. She and Airlie have always been excellent chewers, and had clean teeth and no need for dental care as a result. I guess squirrel-watching in the backyard this summer took precedence, because while I've been caring for Leo's teeth daily since January, experimenting with every tooth paste, brush, finger brush, dental gel or water additive, I neglected theirs. I belatedly noticed last month that both girls have some tartar buildup on their third and fourth premolars. I started encouraging them to chew again, and they're now back in the habit of settling down with their preferred bones while I'm watching TV.

It isn't unusual to hear an overly loud crack during their chewing sessions. Especially if they're working on an elk antler and manage to break a piece off. They swallow those, and Airlie very finely shreds Nylabones and swallows that... it's how they are designed to work. Sitting there, yesterday during GH, Kansas chewing by my side, I glanced over at the loud CRACK! saw her swallow something and lick a bit, watched her clean the bloody end of the Nylabone, and return to chewing. I even fed her after the show was over, and thought nothing of it. It wasn't until I started "brushing" everyone's teeth (dental wipes and topical gel) a few hours later that I noticed the break, upon looking in her mouth to see if my efforts were having any effect.

It is such a horrible, helpless, trapped feeling. being financially unable to fix this. I've never not been able to take care of my babies before. And I'm so angry at DH for putting me in this financial mess. I was feeling so proud of myself, so accomplished, enjoying the financial freedom that comes with paying down credit cards and actually being able to PAY for things rather than rely on charging them. Two short months and both cards are at max (again), I'm using my grocery budget to pay these bills instead of being able to buy food, dog food, cat food and pay vet bills. I usually leave a little room on my cards for such a time as this. But I thought it would be ok to buy concert tickets for our anniversary when DH announced last Saturday that Harry Connick Jr. would be in town that weekend and the tickets just went on pre-sale. He didn't want the $37 seats, either. $140 later, and now I've only got $300 remaining on the card and the procedure Kansas needs is going to be $350-$400.

It all depends on whether or not I can convince the vet to just pull the tooth, rather than doing a full dental cleaning. If our old vet were still at the practice I know she wouldn't charge us an office visit/exam fee, and would just extract the tooth without doing anything else. Especially since Kansas' teeth (other than those premolars) are, and always have been, so clean.

I'm so angry, so frustrated, and, yeah, I know blaming other people is part of it. But at the same time there are so many things I want to say, that I know better than to say. Because saying hurtful things is a bad idea. Saying things you can't take back is a bad idea. But this is the THIRD TIME I've been in this type of financial mess. DH tried to make me feel better last night by saying "at least we aren't losing the house this time." Um. No. This is worse, because THIS TIME I don't have a CAR TO SELL IN ORDER TO TAKE CARE OF US WHEN HE LETS US DOWN!

Kansas is handling it better than I am. So far, she doesn't seem to be in much pain, though surely she is. She was eager to go on her walk this morning. She's still trying to chew on her bones. She's eating fine, even though I've been mixing her food with yogurt, hoping that the good bacteria will help keep things clean, and thinking that maybe, maybe the fact that it's a dairy product  will help coat the area, and the calcium will do... something, and letting it get soft. They say if a person ever loses a tooth, the first aid treatment is to store the tooth in a cup of milk, to keep the tooth in something close to it's natural environment. I even got out my mortar and pestle and ground up her pills. I hate having to wait til Friday to handle something I would normally have been able to take care of right away.  It's not that I'm worried about her. I just feel like I've failed. And it's not even my fault. DH has messed up everything!

A friend of mine who is an emergency vet tech returned my call a while ago, to give me some suggestions on other places to call. I spent an hour or so on the phone yesterday afternoon, getting quotes from various places, calling her... I messaged our beloved vet via Facebook, even though her new practice isn't open yet, to ask her opinion. I posted a query in the rescue's group page asking for suggestions. One friend made a very generous offer but I'm torn about accepting it. Her dog went through the same thing last week, and, knowing how much pain her dog was in, she just wants to help. She's been where we are, has had people help her out and wants to pay it forward. Part of me wants so badly to just let her do it. I'm playing the "wait-and-see" game.

DH gets paid on Friday (so do I, but guess where that money is going?), and is pretty much insisting on paying for the procedure- and he should! So it's just a waiting game, keeping an eye on her to see how much pain she can tolerate. I still have her Rimadyl, but I hesitate to give it to her. Which is worse, her being in  pain for a few days, or spending another 6 months re-training her once the side effects of the Rimadyl have her lashing out at all of the other pets and leaving Leo and Airlie living in fear of her again? My friend said I should be able to call in and request some Tramadol. It's a very old, often-used, very safe pain medication, and I'll be requesting it for the after-care, anyway, instead of any Rimadyl. She said good pain management helps them heal faster, too. I'll probably give her some melatonin at bedtime, to help her sleep.

She thinks if Kansas is eating well, and even trying to chew her toys, she's probably managing ok.

She had a lot of other great suggestions, including the Care Credit program, which our vet does accept. I'm just not sure whether to apply for that yet or not. It's not that we can't pay for it, we just can't pay for it right now. She said she hasn't used it yet, either. Apparently sometimes you can get it interest-free for first-time users, so she's waiting for something big.

DH finally lit a fire under the mortgage company, so at least the house refinance (started in April) is going to be finalized today or tomorrow. The extra work I took on starts next week, but since Monday is a holiday, it only off-sets missing that day of work, rather than being actual extra income. The rest of my extra work starts the following week. DH's raises don't take effect until the 15th.

I am so dreading digging out of this hole.

Oh, and Airlie's due for her annual vet checkup next week, too.