Ode to Maggie

I didn't have the privillege of meeting Maggie, but my mom and I got to hear alot about her in recent weeks, as mom tried to help her mother advise a friend on the new black lab puppy her husband had unexpectedly brought home.

Maggie passed away yesterday.
10 weeks old, out on a walk with her new daddy; they stopped to chat with a neighbor who was driving by and Maggie had the unfortunate fate of sitting in front of a tire and getting run over as the neighbor pulled away.

She died in her daddy's arms.

He spent the whole day locked away in his room, crying and broken.
His daughter and son-in-law who were visiting had to leave because they were so upset seeing him like that (and also because daughter had backed the car over her own dog a month ago...).
His wife didn't really know what to do and was still struggling with the usual "he likes that dog better than me" emotions.
Nobody had ever seen him that upset over anything before.

A grown man, who had never had "his own" dog.
They had dogs, sure, his kids' dogs...but Maggie was his own. His wife didn't understand. I hear he's now apologized for being so emotional, but I think dogs make us emotional and that it's ok to be so. Dogs teach us alot of things and until a person has had their own relationship with a dog, they have no idea...

A very stoic man, already swearing to never have a dog again.
Mom felt his pain, fresh, as it reminded her anew of her own.
The similarities in both stories are a bit eerie, actually.

Mom says Cesar Millan says not to get another dog after something emotional takes place, because you're bringing that dog into instability instead of leadership. But she also knows that when it happened to her, she would have never gotten a dog (me) again unless she did it right away.

The new dog helps you through the loss and grieving process of it's predecessor. It makes you laugh, you can't help but compare one to the other- especially if they were littermates- , and, quite frankly, once you've had a dog, even for a short while, their passing leaves a dog-shaped hole in your heart nothing else can fill.
And why would you want to dishonor the thing that taught you so much about love by putting up walls and closing yourself off?

I really think Maggie taught her daddy more about how to love, even though he was a grown man with grown kids and plenty of grandkids to learn from. There is always something more for us to learn, regardless of who is the teacher.

They did call the folks who had Maggie's litter; the lady brought over the two remaining female pups for inspection. Katie spent the first night in her new home that night, even though it seemed at one point that it wasn't going to be a good idea and wouldn't work out. I think it's for the best.

I think Maggie's job here on earth was to teach her mommy how to love a dog, and pave the way for a dog both people could love together.

Whether you've experienced pet loss, personally, or not, never, never belittle the loss of anyone's pet. Once it has happened to you, you will understand. Until it does, you won't but it's very important that you not say things like "it's just a dog..."
Grief is grief.
Loss is loss.
Losing a person is one thing, because that person and all that is them is no longer here on earth. Losing a pet is like losing a part of yourself- as one might grieve the loss of a limb. After all, you put alot of time, energy care and love into that warm, furry bundle of life.

Feeling life seep away from that warm, furry, active bundle, feeling it get heavier, that is something I do not wish upon anyone. What happens when the thing you love is no longer there, but you still have love to give? It is an awful feeling. What then is your outlet? Where do you put all of that love? The greatest honor you can bestow is to provide that love and your home to another furry bundle.

We don't know why some things come into our lives for a short time, while others hang around for ages. Either way, they all have something to teach us and when their work here is done, they must go. I think they know this, and try to communicate it to us, we just aren't always paying attention.

Hopi Prayer

Do not stand at my grave and weep.

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glint in the snow.

I am the sunlight on the ripened grain.

I am the gentle Autumn's rain.

When you awaken in the morning hush,

I am the swift uplifting rush, of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry:

I am not there, I did not die.

If you or someone you love has lost a pet:
Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement