Annual Vet Visit

I went for my yearly vaccinations on Monday.
My mom we went ahead and told them to do a parasite test!
Can you believe it?! That's where they stick that swab-thing with the hole in it up your butt and scoop poo out of you, then examine it under a microscope! The nerve! They'd already stuck a thermometer in my ass! I HATE that part!

Mom tried to reason with me, saying it was because of all the kitty crap I've had this past year- at the old house, and now at this one.

I tested negative!
I guess that means we're both doing something right.

She also let them test me for heartworm, explainign to me that I was due and we'd never done it. Negative there, also. But they had to stick a needle in my arm and draw blood! I was really good for that, actually. It was a brand new experience.

I tried to behave better than usual, and I think I did ok.
Mom brought treats this time, and the ladies who worked with me weren't silly, timid and intimidated like the ones in the past have been. I didn't do my growly "backtalk". Last time I did that the vet looked at Mom and said "What does that mean?"

Dude! It means NOTHING! I'm just bitching!

I appreciate that the women I worked with this time were more authoritative and less timid.
They asked "has she tried to bite before?"
Mom tried not to laugh and said "Not at the vet..."
(I have snapped ferociously at more than one stupid male human who has tried to pet me and ignored all of my polite, prior fair warnings to leave me the fuck alone.)

Truly this year's visit was the best one we've had, as far as vets who take mom seriously and allow her to hold me down, and me behaving better. Mom held me still for some things, they held me for others while mom held treats in front of my face to keep me distracted. She wouldn't let go of them, no matter how much I chewed on them, tried to get them out of her hand, and nibbled her fingers even!

I heard the vets remark "oh, she's a heeler... that's why she's growling at us and being difficult."
What does that make you? People who stick things in dogs' butts for fun?
Somebody said the word "muzzle" once, but Mom said we wouldn't need it.
My mom is pretty quick about grabbing my snout and holding my mouth shut, if she has to.

Mostly, I don't like the metal exam table.
It's slippery, and the padding they lay atop it is worse, then I'm standing on padding that's sliding out from under me ON the slippery table.
However, it is way cool to jump over, lie down on, sit atop and play on whenever no-one is in the room MAKING me stand on it in order to poke at me.

When we were checking out, there were two small boys their with their mom and their own heeler. He was older than me.
They'd been approaching every patient in the wating room, cuddling all the dogs without a second thought. Te little one came right up to Me and grabbed my face between his hands!
The NERVE!
I could hear mom trying to tell him not to, and what a bad idea it was, and she quickly moved me between herself and the checkout counter. Then the kid's mom came and grabbed him and lectured him, then STILL had to bodily haul him back several times and reprimand him constantly because he kept trying to pet me after we'd all told him no.
I could tell I did good, and that Mom was relieved nothing bad happened, and thankful that she spent so much time at our old house taking me and Leo around to meet all of the neighborhood kids. If she'd known this boy, she might have taken a chance on me and seen how well I would do with a formal meeting.
She did stand around and talk to his mom for a long time, comparing us dogs, our personalities, etc... I could tell she was relieved that this lady knew how we tend to behave and wasn't upset as us, just upset that her boys "don't know any strangers..."
The boy still kept coming back at me, so Mom decided he could try and give me a treat.
I took that nicely, but then he snuck up behind me, and, well... I don't like it when that happens. I can't see back there, and DUDE! so many people had already been up my butt that day!

I couldn't help it- I turned around, reared back and snapped right in his face.
He wasn't hurt, but he looked as if he might cry at first, and then he started gushing about "WHOA! DID YOU SEE THAT! THAT DOG BITES!" his mom started fussing at him, but wasn't upset with us. He thought it was the coolest thing. Then the vet tech came to take his own heeler away for a urine sample and he warned the vet tech "my dog bites!".
His mom thought that was hysterical.

Mom is relieved she didn't get upset.
I'm relieved Mom didn't get upset with me. She just jerked my head away real fast, turning me around away from him, and then that free hand of hers clamped my mouth shut and she said "NO!" (I hate hearing that!)

It could have been so bad, though...