Understanding My Family

I think people-Mom is having a hard time. She mopes alot. I know she's lonely for people-company even though I'm doing a great job keeping her entertained and helping her not be lonely. She loves me alot. She just gets sad alot, lately. It started after her birthday, when auntie did some things that hurt and disappointed. And Mollie, too- she didn't seem as happy to see us, or want Mom to love on her as much. And then we had to come back home- far away from everybody. Isolated because we don't have any friends here and don't quite know how to meet anyone.

Dad went back to work. He's always busy. He's gone alot. We all get so excited on weekends when he is home, but he doesn't seem to want to notice us. He retreats into his own little computer or video game world and we all sit around, trying not to annoy him. Really, it's just like the rest of the week when he's gone. We do our own thing. Mom gets sad. She doesn't know how to communicate to him how much we long for his time and attention. We feel just as alone, whether he's gone or he's here. Mom doesn't like feeling so alone.

I'm getting really good at being Mom's reading and t.v.-watching buddy. She really enjoys it when somebody will sit down next to her and share in watching something she enjoys. She misses doing that with people, but we're having fun. My "Ranny" (granny) taped several new episodes of The DogWhisperer for us and we've been watching those. Mom bought two Rin Tin Tin movies on DVD recently- we get to watch those today because it's raining. They're really old, but they're historic. Over the weekend, we watched Disney's Robin Hood and a "made-for-the-Disney-Channel" movie Chips, the War Dog about a dog who gets sent to the WWII War Dog program because he can't behave on his farm. It was made about 15 years ago now, and isn't in print anywhere, so Mom borrowed the VHS copy her family had taped when she was a kid. She thought Dad would enjoy it -since he's such a war buff of late- but he didn't really pay attention. We had a good time, anyway.

Mom is thinking about taking me to training to get my CGC (Canine Good Citizen) certification. I don't really need it, but it would give me a chance to learn to obey in different atmospheres, and she could meet some people and get us both out of the house more. She also thinks it would help with the seemingly ever-present Me vs. Children issue. If the kids are going to keep coming, we might as well acquire some new tools to use to our defense... She doesn't really want to start driving across town to where the class is held, but...maybe she'll get her nerve up. I can tell she's becoming more of a hermit. Much as she hates feeling "housebound", she also is becoming a chicken when it comes to going out and about. She hates feeling that way, too. I wish there wasn't so much fear in her. It's because of that bad place we lived in in Indiana. It made Mom really afraid of strange people and new places. She hates herself for feeling that way. She tries not to, because she knows I sense it, feed off of it, and will start behaving based on it- and that could lead to anxiety and behavior problems for me. Neither of us want that.

We've started taking my 20-foot leash when we walk. Mom brings treats and practices letting me get far away from her and calling me back. I like it! I'm doing well, too! Even though we're in a field with lots of neat smells and critters to chase. It seems I still have some of my clingy-ness. I don't really like getting too far away- funny, because Mom thought I'd outgrown that.

My mom tends to collect animals- every time she feels that none of us are taking up enough of her time or providing enough comfort and distraction, she wants to add a new one. It started when Dad used to work in baseball. Every spring he would leave for 9 months and somehow, every time he left she would acquire a new pet. She was getting excited about Dad maybe finally getting his dog. She was trying to help him get all the information and she was starting to plan ahead for training books and stuff we could both use. She overheard him talking to a friend on the phone last night, though. Instead of getting excited about his "not sure how much longer I can hold off on getting another dog" comment, she got even more depressed. She won't ask for one anymore. She didn't like his tone, and felt he implied that she was being a burden or an annoyance. So, we'll find something else to focus our energy and attention on, I guess...

I like having Mom at home. She likes spending time with me and the kitties and she knows if she had a full-time job that would be too much time away from us. It isn't fair to leave us on our own in this small apartment for too long. She could get a part-time job, sure, and she tried to. Things didn't work out. She worries about Dad and his money. She hates it when he says things like "if we get a house, you'll have to go back to work." He makes it sound like he wants her to commit some horrible crime or something... It isn't because he doesn't want her to work that she's not working. She could work if she wanted to. It isn't because he has some sense of "I'm the man and I should provide." Mom has always worked. She'd like a little something to keep her busy. Just for a few hours a few times a week. Things just haven't worked out that way. So she feels like a burden. She feels like she's not doing her part to earn her place on the planet.

We'll get through it, I guess. Mom says she's going to start smiling at people we pass on our walks or at the park. She'll start greeting people. She'll bring treats. Maybe we'll meet new friends and make peace with those ever-present children...

I love my mom. I'm glad I can help her. I hope she cheers up soon.